Top 12 Fanny Fishy Stories 3

Terrible Fishy Tale

Joan Higgins, aged 66, has been selling pets and fishing tackle for years from her shop in Sale, Manchester, England.  Then one day an officer from the trading standards department decided to lure her into selling a goldfish to an underage boy.
The first point about this surreal case is that it does not seem unreasonable for a 14 year old to buy a goldfish.  You can understand the police setting up 'sting' operations for shops selling cigarettes or booze to underage youths, but why are they wasting £20,000 on operations to trap shopkeepers selling goldfish?
So far, so bad - but it gets worse, the magistrate fined Mrs Higgins £1,000, presumably as an example to other shopkeepers.  If you are struggling to believe the story up to this point, then you will be incredulous with the sting in the tail, 66 year old Mrs Higgins was told to wear an electronic tag and was made the subject of a curfew order normally reserved for violent repeat offenders.  Why was it necessary in this case?
We wonder if Mr Iain Veitch, head of public protection at Trafford Council, is sane when he said: 'Let this conviction send out a message that we will not tolerate those who cause unnecessary suffering to animals. The council will always try to support pet and business owners so that they are able to care for their animals properly, but where they continually ignore the advice they are given, we will not hesitate to use our statutory powers.'
In case you are wondering, no animals were hurt in this true story; the goldfish was adopted by an animal welfare officer.

Learning to Fish - Classic Fishy Story

Mrs Baker wanted to go ice fishing. She had read several books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary equipment together, she made her way out onto the ice.
After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Frighteningly, from up above, a voice boomed, 'There are no fish under the ice.' Startled, Mrs Baker moved farther down the ice, poured herself a large coffee, and began to cut yet another hole.
Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, 'There are no fish under the ice.' Mrs Baker, now became very concerned so she moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and began again to cut her ice-hole.
The voice rang out once more, 'There are no fish under the ice.' Mrs Baker, stopped, looked upwards and said, 'Is that you, Lord?'
The voice replied, 'No, this is the Ice-Rink Manager.'

Ten Interesting Trivial Fishy Facts

1. A biologist who studies fish is called an ichthyologist.
2. The most poisonous fish in the world is the Stone fish.
3. The more sardines that are placed in a can, the greater the profit as sardine oil costs more than the sardines.
4. Minnows have teeth in their stomach; the better to digest their food.
5. The sturgeon is considered the largest of all freshwater fish and have weighed in at 2,250 pounds.
6. All the sturgeon [the fish from which we get caviar] caught in British waters are property of Elizabeth II, Queen of England.
7. Atlantic salmon are able to leap as high as 15 feet.
8. The largest known fish in the sea is the whale shark. It weighs up to 20 tons and can grow to a length of 40 feet.
9. Fish can get seasick when kept aboard a rolling ship just as much as people.
10. The red fire-fish can fly and emits sounds like a crow.

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